Bee yourself!

Mental Health awareness week is this week in the UK, and one of the things I think about when I think about mental health is the effect of social media on our wellbeing.

This isn’t going to be an in-depth analysis of the effects, nor do I have any research to share on the matter, and I know that it’s going to be odd about me criticising something I’m using myself. It’s just – I know from my own experience that when I use apps like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, I find it just as likely that I come away feeling bothered about something as I do feeling positive.

To me, Social media often seems to be about a need for attention and validation(when not about being upset about something). Folk spend time trying to come up with something to say about anything, and oftentimes they’ll say it in a way that they think will make them come across as funny or clever. They certainly don’t talk the way they do to their friends in normal conversation, when people aren’t ‘watching’.

I’ve had friends feel crushed when they don’t get the likes, comments, or shares from others. ‘Why isn’t so-and-so liking my post?’ type of things, or ‘please someone share this post to say how important this topic is’. What is that doing to their self-worth. They’re comparing themselves to others, and then feeling bad when they don’t seem to be ‘as good’ or ‘as popular’ or ‘as funny.

They’re not able to show their vulnerability to their ‘friends’ publicly. I understand how difficult this can be. I hid my sexuality for years to my family and friends for worry about how they’d react or treat me differently.

So I know it’s difficult to be authentic and to ‘love yourself’. But we can do it. If you’re having trouble find someone to talk to. Find a phone line if you can’t talk to the people you know.

And as for the main point for this post – I think, particularly during this difficult pandemic situation, perhaps one of the best things we can do is to avoid social media feeds more, stop feeling the need to announce things, or share your outrage at news articles. Instead, use the tools to have some deeper conversations with people. Binge a tv programme and tell a member of your family or your coworkers about it. What did you like about it?

Read a book, learn a new skill, or maybe start that exercise or change of eating you keep talking about. Just be in the moment for yourself more often. People will like you for who you are, not for who you think they want you to be.